Tiffany's Story - Love Lifted Me!
- Tiffany Porter
- Nov 29, 2021
- 4 min read
Updated: Nov 30, 2021
Hello! My name is Tiffany Porter and I am excited to share my story of addiction and recovery. I am a very spiritual person and give all the Glory of this story to God. I had a good childhood despite my parents divorce at age 7 or 8. My mother, with the help of my grandparents, raised myself and my sister while working full time and attending some college classes. We had everything we needed and never went without. I attending church every Sunday and youth group on Wednesdays. I was a little more than your "typical" teenager as far as getting into risky situations. I seemed to gravitate towards trouble or danger. I was an impulsive risk taker. At one point my mother had me in counseling, which might have worked had I put effort into it. A red flag none of us saw or paid any mind to. After graduation, I moved in with my first husband and by the time I was 19 I was a mother and a wife. I played the roll as was expected for about 3 years before I started needing more.
I began going to the bars and seeking excitement in that manner which eventually led to a divorce and in the end another relationship with my second child's father. We were together for about 5 or 6 years when I decided to follow in my father's footsteps and become a firefighter/EMT and volunteered at the local fire department. The stress of the "job" and the things I saw in the field were beginning o take a toll on my mental health and I began using marijuana with my son's father. No biggie, right? WRONG. The marijuana along with the disease of addiction that I was still clueless to, led me down a rabbit hole of toxicity. My son was discovered to have developmental disabilities adding to the already increasing amounts of stress related to being on the fire dept. The drinking and marijuana use increased which led to another failed relationship.
After I met my second husband where we were partners where we worked for a private ambulance company, we soon began a relationship. We married in 2005 and had our son in 2005. In 2007 we had our daughter and during those years I wasn't drinking or using marijuana. Mom of 4, EMT/FF...what could be wrong? Still playing a role at this point...The marriage became extremely toxic and I began to feel confined at home with 4 kids. A now teen, a child with disabilities and 2 babies. I began drinking on the back deck with a neighbor to ease the loneliness of my then husband never being home and my severely crushed self esteem. Then in 2009 I was introduced to Ritalin. The weight loss was fast and gave me a false sense of "self esteem". I built up a tolerance eventually and was introduced to methamphetamine. From the very first use, I was hooked. There was no turning back. It had taken me.
I used very little at first. Then that became not enough. I used to 5 years total and in that 5 years I became someone I didn't recognize in the mirror. Yes, that really does happen. It's not just a saying. I despised what I saw but couldn't stop. I did and said things that I never would have even fathomed. I was a monster. The devil. In 2014 my then husband of 10 years had taken my youngest 2 children and left. I continued to use for 2 months to "ease the pain". On August 2014, I was walking into the dope house to get high when my phone rang. It was my kids calling to tell me about their 1st day of school. I sat down and sobbed and walked out of the kitchen out the front door of that dope house and never looked back. I hit my knees and prayed that night like I have never prayed before. I begged God to help me. I began going to church every week. I journaled to God daily.
I went to outpatient treatment, individual counseling (still go to this day) and groups as well as NA and worked the 12 steps. Today I celebrate 7 years, 3 months and 9 days clean. I have shared parenting with my youngest kids who are now 14 and 15. I am a SUD counselor at a treatment facility and I have a goal of getting my LISW and bridging the gap between mental health, addiction and disabilities and homelessness. I am remarried (yes, I know.. but 3rd time is a charm lol) and I am very active in our church and women's bible study. I do a mentorship program in our town where I can support addicts in early recovery and fill the voids where needed. I am no longer playing a role. I have found myself and know exactly God created me to be.
"I was sinking deep in sin, far from the peaceful shore. Buried deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more. But the Master of the sea, heard my despair and cries. From the waters lifted me now safe am I. LOVE LIFTED ME!"
I hope my story speaks to someone today. I hope it provides encouragement and hope to someone. Please don't give up.
Love to you all!!

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